Now

Over the last few days, I have seen several people post their word to focus on in 2015.  I liked this idea and wanted to participate.  I didn't want to be influenced by anyone else's word so I have intentionally avoided reading anything that made a reference to #oneword.  (But I will go back to read them...I promise.)

So what is my word?  I tried several things out in my head, but none seemed quite right.

Smile:  I used to describe myself as someone who smiled a lot, but I don't know that it is still a fitting description.  Stress, chaotic schedules, worry...these things steal my smile every day.  I would like to find it back someday.

Patience:  This seems to be lost in the same place as my smile.  If I could be patient with others (especially the ones I live with), maybe that would make it easier to smile throughout the day.

Gentleness:  Maybe this is my word.  A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. (Proverbs 15:1)

Peace? Joy? Trust?   No, no, and no.  These are all good things, but it just doesn't feel right.

Pray:  Well, if I could pray without ceasing like Paul tells us in First Thessalonians and make my requests with praise and thanksgiving like he says in Philippians, I am sure that would solve a whole host of other problems.  

Oh, man.  I just don't know.  Maybe my word should be Indecision?  Or Procrastination?  Wait, I am already quite skilled in those areas.  This is supposed to be an area to improve.

I spent three days mulling this over and wrestling it out in my mind.  I was still trying to settle on something when I went to bed two nights ago.  At the precise moment when I was the perfect combination of cozy warm, comfortable, and drowsy, I remembered that one of the pillows that my husband uses was on the couch.  Because I had used it last.

Now, this was a tough moment for me.  It would have been so easy to just close my eyes and drift off. He would never even know.  He was still watching TV downstairs.  What's the big deal, right?  It is just a pillow, and it would only be for one night.  And did I mention how very comfortable I was?  But it is his pillow, and I knew he would be searching for it.  I also knew I would never get back to that exact position in bed again.

Now, that's when I remembered the verse from James that says if you know something is right, and you don't do it, that is a sin.  Ouch!  So if I just fall asleep right this moment, it is a sin.  I know it is the right thing to do to get up and get the pillow.  Now I can't keep laying there, no matter how comfortable I am.  Double ouch!

After I got the silly pillow, I smiled.  My word is NOW.   It feels good to do the right thing at the right time. In the grand scheme of life, there are much bigger things than whether I got the pillow or not.  I know that.   But in that particular moment, the right thing was for me to get out of bed and return the pillow to where it should be.  Putting my husband's needs before my own-that is definitely the right thing.

When I hear the whispering of the Holy Spirit leading me to act,  I want to learn how to act NOW.  When I wait,  I lose my conviction.  I forget why I thought it was important.  I talk myself out of it.  I make excuses. I get too busy.  How many opportunities have I missed to do the LORD'S work just because I did not follow through right then?

So NOW encompasses a need to act.  It encompasses trust and obedience.  Do it now.

But there is more meaning to this word for me.

NOW, as a noun, is also fitting for me.  I see this as a call to be fully present in the moment.  Wherever I am, whatever I am doing, be fully present in that moment.  If I could learn to turn my worries and anxieties over to God, I would be more mentally available to relax and enjoy the moment in front of me. If I could learn to focus on the one thing in front of me instead of the hundred other things I need to do, I would be more fully present in the NOW.

I know if I am obedient to His calling NOW and if I focus on each moment as a gift for right NOW, then I am likely to be more trusting, more gentle, smile more.  This one word, NOW, perfectly sums up all the other things I was trying to make my #oneword be.

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us,  to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.  Ephesians 3:20-21

P.S.  The irony is not lost on me that it took three days to come up with the word NOW, and four more for me to get the post written!