Psalm 139:23 - The 31 Day Challenge

Search me, God, and know my heart;
    test me and know my anxious thoughts.

Psalm 139:23

So there I was.  Rushing around my classroom, trying to get a thousand things done all at the same time.  As you might guess, I was not successfully getting any of them done.  I had this feeling building up inside of me that could best be described as super frantic.  Sheer and total panic was about to engulf me.  (What can I say?  It was conference week--any teacher reading this will understand.)

That is when I realized that I had not taken any time at all to talk to my Savior, my Friend.  My early morning routine had been off, squeezing a few moments in to do school work instead of opening my Bible.  How much difference can fifteen or twenty minutes make anyway?  Right?

Fifteen or twenty minutes maybe helped me get one or two things crossed off my lengthy list.  But it also made me all out of whack.  I neglected what was most important, and it affected my whole outlook, my whole day.

So I stopped what I was doing.  Everything I was doing.  And I crouched down behind a bookcase and made time to talk to God.  I probably would have felt a little awkward if someone had walked in, but no one did.  I took a few minutes to say good morning to God, to ask for forgiveness for neglecting Him, and to calm my spirit.  

God knew already.  He knew how my heart was feeling, and how anxious my thoughts were.  I stayed there long enough to feel the anxiety begin to dissipate.  I took a deep breath, and then five or six more for good measure.  It's amazing how just breathing deeply can affect the whole body.  

I stood up and began to work again.  But everything was different.  There were no fewer tasks on my lists, but I felt different.  God had searched me, and He knows my heart.   He helped me lay down the stress I was feeling, the stress I had created myself, and carry on throughout my day.

I wonder how many times my stress and anxiety stems from neglecting my Savior, from not spending time with the One who made me.