365

Did you know that there are 365 verses in the Bible that tell us not to be afraid?  One verse for every day of the year...except Leap year, of course.

I have learned this fact recently from my kids' Christmas program "Fact or Fiction: The Christmas Edition." (Super cute and well-done by the CWKids, by the way.)  Actually, I have learned it more than five times a week over the last two months!  Call me a slow learner, but I think I needed to hear that.  I am not sure it would have sunk in if I had only heard it once or twice.

I am just intrigued by this.  I can't stop thinking about it.   One Scripture every day that says do not be afraid.  I am amazed about what that says about our God.  He knew.  He knew we would be prone to fear and worry, and He planned for that.  It just blows me away that his level of detail-planning includes telling us not to fear.  I think He knew that this would be something people struggle with on a daily basis.  So He provided words for us to turn to, words of comfort, that tell us not to be afraid.

Joshua 1:9 tells us not to be afraid or discouraged; be strong and courageous.  God is with us wherever we go.  It is one thing to tell somebody not to be afraid.  It is another thing entirely to tell them  not to be afraid because they are not alone.  God is with us wherever we go.  He had already paved the way.  He is by our side.  

Thinking about the 365 verses makes me want to go look them all up.  (Putting that on the "someday" list...can't quite get that done right now.). But even if I don't know all of them, or even some of them, I know they are there, and I find that comforting.  I CAN go find them if I need them.

Not if I need them.  When I need them.  I will need them.  Just today I have had the fears that an inattentive driver was going to hit me in the school parking lot.  That I would not know how to help a new student I am tutoring.  That my kids are a little short on gratitude and a bit big on self-centeredness lately.  That Todd's cancer might come back someday and we won't be on top of it as we were the first time.  That I won't get all of my stuff done before Christmas.  

Big fears, little fears, medium fears.  There are things that I fear every single day.  Some of them are irrational; some are a little more understandable.  Either way, when the fear starts to take over,  I have to remind myself to turn back to the Word.  Some days that is easier than others.  When I am really feeling anxious, I can only come up with two or three verses.  It is the same ones all the time, but they soothe me.  They speak to me.  Psalm 23, Proverbs 3:5-6, Jeremiah 29:11, Philippians 4:7. And 1 Peter 5:7 are my "go to" verses.  No matter how many times I hear those, they still help calm a restless and worried spirit.

When I am too worked up to be able to do this for myself, I have learned to reach out to certain people.  "Pray for me.  I am struggling."  Those words never fail to elicit a response.  Just a simple text and I can set my personal team of prayer warriors into action.  I receive responses back that let me know that it will be okay.  When I can't think straight enough to put two thoughts together because I am gripped with fear or anxiety, my "people" point me back with a hug, a word of encouragement, or a well-timed verse.

God does not want us to be afraid.  He wants us to be joyful.  He wants us to trust in Him.  He already has it all figured out.  First John 4:18 tell us that perfect love casts out fear.  When I am afraid, I need to realign myself with the One who is Perfect Love.  

Five Minute Friday: Prepare

I have been intrigued by Five Minute Friday for a while, and I credit my dear friend, Jennifer Frisbie and her blog for getting me started.

The idea is to free-write on a given prompt for five minutes without editing or revising.  Then you link your blog up with other people who are doing the same thing.  It is fun and different, and I thought I would give it a try.  Check out this link for more info:    Five Minute Friday

I confess:  I cheated.  I did not change any of the ideas or words that came out in the five minutes, but I did go back and fix all the typos.  Just couldn't stand it...

***start***

Prepare.

This is the first time I have done Five Minute Friday.  And can I just say that I don't feel like I am prepared? It is a bit scary to free write and publish without editing or revising.

Like a lot of things lately, I am pushing through, even though I don't feel all the way prepared.  I am learning to just go and just do, despite my feelings of hesitation.

Since I started my blog in August, I feel like God keeps pushing me along.  Telling me to jump in, that he has already made the preparations.  That it will be okay.  I often don't want to write about the topics that are in my head, but I am really trying to be faithful and obedient.  Less self-reliant, and more God-called.

I think the thing is that I am never fully prepared for life.  No matter what I try to control or hold on to- I am not in charge.  He is.  He prepares a path for me.  He leads me to the green pastures, to the still waters, to restoration.  

He has prepared the way for me.  All I have to do is follow.

***stop***

Do It For Me

A few years ago when I was home by myself, I was working on laundry.  I did not like doing laundry, and I had a particularly bad attitude about it that day.  As I took clothes out of the dryer, I was grumbling and complaining that I did not want to do this, and I hated laundry.  I was the only one home so no one could hear all my negativity.  No one except God, that is.

"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart; do it for Me and not for men."

I heard these words very plainly and very clearly.  I don't know how to explain it.  It was not an audible sound, but I heard it all the same.   It was definitely a voice, and it was not my own.

Three things about this really jumped out at me.  The first thing is that I am never alone.  God is always with me. Even though I cannot see him,  He is always with me.  Even as I do laundry.  I remember having the thought that if these were Jesus's pants, I probably wouldn't mind so much.

The other thing that really struck me was the actual verse.  Although I had heard this verse before, it was definitely NOT one I had committed to memory.  What I heard was Scripture.  Word for word Scripture.  I had to look it up to know where to find it.  I had a hard time finding it at first.  I had looked up the phrase "Do it for me."  My search came back with no results.  When I found it, I smiled.  Colossians 3:23 says "...do it as for the LORD."  But what I had heard was "Do it for me." (I know some of you Bibilical scholars caught that the first time!)

Does this mean it wasn't really Scripture?  Quite the opposite in my opinion.  When God speaks, He can refer to himself in the first person.  It would be pretty stilted and awkward if He used anything other than that.  Also, I noticed that He doesn't have to cite chapter and verse when He speaks; they are His words, after all.

The last thing I took away from this experience is how this verse was used.  I had always heard it in reference to careers.  It doesn't matter if you are a minister, a teacher, a carpenter, or a truck driver as long as you represent God well through your work.  I had never thought before that "whatever you do" meant laundry too.  Everything we do, even laundry and other mundane chores, is to be done for the LORD.  Everything.

I still don't love doing laundry.  But when I catch myself starting to grumble about it, I remind myself that I was doing laundry the first time I ever heard God speak to me.  And I can do this too in service to Him.

40 things I love about this man

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40. He doesn't like to see me upset and tries to make me feel better.
39. He adjusts his schedule to work from home when the kids are sick or I have a professional development day.  (And occasionally, he will do this just so I can go scrapbook!)
38. He wants to run away with me-preferably somewhere tropical with fruity drinks.
37.  He buys me ice cream on dates.  Sometimes he buys me ice cream for no reason at all.
36.  Whenever we are near each other, he reaches for my hand when someone starts to pray.  It is a small but significant way to show we are united in Christ.
35.  He kills spiders and other creepy-crawly things that find their way into the house.
34.  He is awesome at woodworking, and he makes me cool things.
33.  He checks the air in my tires and fixes them to keep me safe.
32.  He is really good at fixing all kinds of things.
31.  He changes light bulbs.  (That may not be a big deal to some, but it is to someone of my height!)
30.  He starts and ends EVERY SINGLE DAY by reading his Bible.
29.  He helps the kids get ready every morning.
28.  He tells me I am beautiful, smart, and more.  (Things I definitely don't feel on my own.)
27.  He prays for me.
26.  He cooks a steak better than most restaurants.
25.  Inside jokes.
24.  He spoils me rotten on birthdays, Christmas, anniversaries, and other occasions for gift giving.
23.  We have history together--great times, tough times, and many other times in between. 
22.  He inspires me to be a better person.
21.  He works hard.  Really hard.  Super hard.  In everything he does.
20.  His relationship with God is a priority in his life.
19.  We make a great team.
18.  We balance each other out.
17.  He wrestles the kids, which they LOVE!  I believe this is special gift that God bestows upon Daddies. 
16.  He understands the importance of having a little time to myself.  Whether it be hanging out with friends or letting me scrapbook or just needing to be myself for a bit, he never makes me feel guilty about that.
15.  He fell in love with me when I was still broken from my first marriage.  He loved me enough to work through a lot of that pain and sorrow with me.  Even when he got blamed for things that were clearly not his fault, he stuck by me and helped me deal with it.
14.  He says what he thinks.  Although sometimes I don't want to hear what he thinks (particularly when his opinion might be completely opposite of mine), I never have to guess where he stands.
13.  He can talk about God to others in ways that I could never dream of.
12.  He gives the best hugs.
11.  He is fiercely loyal to his family and friends.
10.  He makes me laugh.
9.  He stands up for me when he sees me being treated unfairly.
8.  He supports me in big and small ways.
7.  He reads my blog whenever I ask him to, even though reading is not his thing.
6.  He is a financial wizard. A few years ago our church offered the Financial Peace classes.  Several people asked me if we were going to do it.  I was able to tell them, "I don't really see the point of doing the class.  I'm already married to Dave Ramsey."
5. He sees the good in me, when I can't see it in myself.
4.  He is a terrific father.
3.  He is generous with his time.
2.  He loves me.  All of me.
1.  He loves God.

I LOVE YOU, TODD TELLMAN,  HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Be Still and Know That I Am God.

Be still and know that I am God.  

I have the second part of this down.  I know my God.  I know who He is.  I know His power.  I know He can and does perform miracles.  I know He is my comforter, my peace, my protection.   I don't have much trouble with this part.

Be still.  That is the part I have trouble with.  Be still.  I am never still.  From the moment I get up to the last minute before I crash back into bed, I am busy.  I am not saying I am anymore busy than anyone else.  I just know that I am busy.  

Be still.  As I am rushing from one thing to the next, I hear it.  Be still.

As I am trying to make lunches and shove a load of laundry in before I head to work, I hear it again.

I eat lunch at my desk almost every day while I try to make lesson plans, score assessments, answer emails, and whatever other sixteen things need to be done, it is there again.  Be still.

After school is a whirlwind of getting everything ready for the next day, checking homework, signing reading logs, and now walking a mile or more.

At home the pace continues...kids' activities, make dinner, more laundry, dishes, baths and bedtime routines for kids, finish a crochet project or two.  (Even my "relaxing" time is spent with my hands busily in motion.)

Be still.

Each morning I set aside each day to spend with God.  It too is filled with activity.  I read my daily passages; I journal; I blog; I work through different studies.  I tell God my prayer requests and my praises.  But seldom, if ever, do I just sit and listen to what He might want to tell me.

These are all good things that I am doing, but God keeps whispering to me, "Be still and know that I am God.  Be still and know that I am with you."  

I hear it.  I just haven't figured out how to do it yet.  So for now, I am thinking about Being Still.  

That's all I have time for.

Praying Over My Stapler

Tired.  Exhausted.  Overwhelmed.  Overworked.  Anxious.  Irritable.  Annoyed.  Overly sensitive.  Stressed.  Frantic.  Even a bit feverish and nauseous.

These are all things that describe me today.  Not loving those descriptions, but I think they are accurate.  So, at least, I can say that I am being honest about where I am in this particular moment.

I am feeling like even the smallest thing could put me over the edge right now.

With that being said, I just found myself in a battle with my long-arm stapler as I tried to put some books together.  This is not the first time I have done battle with this device.  I staple one time, and then I have to spend at least a minute and a fair amount of strength wrestling it back to where it can function to get one more staple out of it.  Repeat this about thirty-five times, and you can probably see my frustration.  I do not have the time, energy, or patience to deal with this today.  The stapler is winning.  

Just seconds before I went into a sobbing mess that would potentially lead me to a nervous breakdown, I actually had the wisdom to stop.  I took a deep breath.  And another one.  And one more for good measure.  Then I prayed over my stapler.  Yes, you read that right.  I prayed over my stapler.  "Please, God, would you fix my stapler?  I know this seems silly, but I just can't deal with this right this minute.  I know you have the power.  Would you please, please just fix this stupid thing for me?"

Does my God care about my stapler?  I think He does.  The stapler crisis was important to me, and He cares about me.  So, the stapler is important to Him too, because He loves me.  Why should I bother my great big God with something so small as a stapler?  After all, doesn't He have bigger problems to be taking care of than that?  Shouldn't I just deal with it?

The point is this: I wasn't dealing with it.  I was in a tailspin, a whirlwind of negative emotions.  Everything was crashing in on me.  I was in a place of desperation.  (Yes, I do recognize that a stapler should not be the source of so much desperation.)

God cares about me.  He doesn't want me to be desperate and in a tizzy over the things in my life that seek to control me.  He is the Prince of Peace, peace which I so needed.

God could have chosen to fix my stapler.  He didn't.  After I prayed over my stapler, it didn't work any better than before.  Disappointing, huh?  Not really.  Because He chose to change me.  That was the answer to my prayer today.  As I continued to wrestle with my stapler, He changed my heart.  I recited the 23rd Psalm.  Then there were praise songs in my head that just had to be sung out loud.  

I finished stapling those books and went to do something else.  I almost giggled when my other stapler didn't work any better than the first one.

"Cast all your anxieties (even pesky staplers) on Him because He cares for you." 

1 Peter 5:7

Thank You, Veterans!

I just wanted to extend my personal heartfelt gratitude to all of the men and women who have served in the armed forces for our country.  Thank you, thank you, a thousand thank yous for all that you did in the name of securing our freedom and protecting our liberties.

I especially wanted to take a moment to honor the ones who are the most near and dear to my heart.

My dad, David Taylor (Marine Corps)

Uncle Bill Twitchel (Air Force)

Uncle Ben Twitchel (Marine Corps)

Uncle Curtis Twitchel (Navy), Grandpa Tom Twitchel (Marine Corps)

Uncle Francis Twitchel

 

Brother Jon Taylor (Marine Corps)

Cousin Scott Taylor (Army)

Cousin Byron King

Uncle Finis King

My handsome husband Todd Tellman (National Guard)

I would also like to honor the ones for whom I do not have pictures:  Russell "Butch" Tellman, Don Tellman, and Guy Howard.

Thank you, Veterans!  Thank you for all you have done and continue to do.  God Bless You and God Bless America!