Wednesday, October 21, 2015

Psalm 139:18b - The 31 Day Challenge

"When I awake, I am still with you."
Psalm 139:18b

I didn't sleep well last night.  Sometimes that happens because of stress and worry.  Sometimes because of illness or other ailments.  Sometimes a midnight thunderstorm wakes me up.  Last night it was all three.  Lucky me.
I had a specific student on my mind and my heart last night.  Not really sure why.  I cannot think of anything in particular about this student that is causing me to be overly worried or stressed.  Sometimes I just can't stop thinking about someone--whether it be a student or someone else--and I don't know why.   

Usually when I hear thunder in the middle of the night, it is quickly accompanied by little feet coming into my room, afraid of the terrible noise.  Sometimes she hears the thunder and is in my room before I am even aware that it is storming.  Last night, she didn't come in.  She must have been extra tired, but I was awakened by the rumbling.  I think it kept me awake longer than normal with the anticipation of her needing me but not actually coming into the bedroom.

I could not get comfortable last night.  It seemed extremely hot in my room, and no matter how I positioned myself, some part was hurting.  I noticed that my ear seemed full of fluid but I didn't think much of it at the time.  When I woke up this morning, my ear was screaming with pain and I had a fever.  It makes so much more sense now why I felt hot and achy!

So the combination of all of those things made for a restless night.   The student stress will die down after parent conferences this week.  No complaints about the thunderstorm because we certainly need the rain.  And there are certainly worse things that could be wrong with me than an ear infection and a low-grade fever.  But still there was not much sleep to be had.

This morning when I opened my Bible and my 31-Day outline, I was greeted with a verse about being awake.  Oh, the irony!  

In hindsight, all that time I spent tossing and turning could have been spent talking to my God and my Savior.  I could have been praying for the student that kept waking me up.  I could have been praising Him for the rain or the fact that my little one slept through the scary thunder that time.  I could have been praying for myself to get better rest or to feel better or even praying for people who are facing far worse circumstances than I am.

But I didn't do any of those things.  I just had myself a little pity party and felt a bit desperate for the rest that was eluding me.  Prayer should be my automatic response in all circumstances, even the ones that keep me awake at night.  But it never even crossed my mind last night.   

Sometimes I get so wrapped up in myself that I forget He is right here with me, every step of the way--asleep or awake.

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