Friday, October 9, 2015

Psalm 139:7-10 -The 31 Day Challenge

"Where can I go from your Spirit?  Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there;  if I made my bed in the depths, you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea,
Even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast."
Psalm 139:7-10

I love this passage because it shows how God is everywhere.  How high can you go?  All the way to the Heavens?  God is there.  If you get up early on the wings of the dawn, God is already there before you.  If you travel way across the sea to the other side of the world, guess what?  He was there before you ever left.

I most love the phrase " If I make my bed in the depths, you are there."  Even at my lowest moments, God is still right there holding me fast.

Ever lost a loved one suddenly and unexpectedly?  I have.  The first time I remember ever having to deal with death is when a favorite cousin committed suicide.  He was 17; I was 14.  I remember that phone call like it was yesterday.

Ever lost a bunch of loved ones in a short space of time?  I have.  Following my cousin's unexplainable, unfathomable death, I lost three grandparents and a great-grandparent in less than two years.  Not only was there so much to grieve,  I didn't even know how to grieve.  There would have been plenty of people to help me if I had just asked.  But I was so unfamiliar with the whole process of death that I didn't even know it was still okay to be sad after the funeral was over.  So I hid it way down in the depths of my being.

Ever been divorced?  I have.  Multiply grieving the loss of a loved one times the pain of feeling like an ultimate failure, of letting people down, of disappointing yourself, of disappointing God...that is about where I was at that time in my life.  

Ever been betrayed by someone you thought was a friend?  Too many times.  I haven't always been good at choosing my friends.  The people I have been drawn to throughout my life have not always been people that were good for me.

Ever been fired?  Me too.  I know I am not perfect, but I still don't think they had a reason to fire me.  That one is still hard for me to swallow sometimes.

There are some pretty dark times in my life.  Times of loss, personal upheaval, confusion, bewilderment, insecurity, anger, bitterness, and loneliness.  Not only was I sad, depressed, or whatever, but I camped out there.  I made my bed in the depths.  Even though I was miserable, I got kind-of comfortable there.  It was hard to leave.

I may have been lonely, but I was never alone.  I may have been sad, but God's hand held me fast.  He never let go of me.  He held me tight.  He was always there.  He is always there.  He will always be there.  He carried me through those valleys, those deserts, those shadows.  One day at a time.  One step at a time.  Eventually I found my way out and was stronger for it.

King David asked, "Where can I go from your Spirit?  Where can. I flee from your presence?"  The question I ask now is "Why would I want to?"


2 comments:

  1. Amen! I am so thankful that there is nowhere we can go... no where we can hide or run or fall that is out of His reach!

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  2. There have been times in my life when I feel like I tried to hide or outrun God or messed up so much that He wouldn't want me, but I am so thankful for His grace and love that won't let go of me.

    Thanks for reading, Karrilee!

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